I have become aware, recently that there are some things we do or say in my house that might come across as slightly less than civilized if it were someone on the outside hearing or seeing it without knowing the whole story. Aside from my daily summer uniform of t-shirts and flip-flops and the 2-4 inches of black roots growing from my "blonde" hair, I do have all of my teeth, and I always take my children to Wal-Mart fully clothed (including shoes).
Here are the top 5 reasons that I could possibly on some occasions be redneck...or maybe just less than classy...or maybe just normal! If you just read the top five without the explanations you might think redneck, and depending on how "classy" you consider yourself I might be "less than" and if you are being completely honest with yourself you will see that I am normal!
5. My children have skinnydipped in my sisters swimming pool in lieu of taking a bath.
There is not a whole lot I can do to justify this one. If we aren't going anywhere important the next day, a pool is WAY more fun than a bathtub. I figure they swam all the stinky off.
4. The phrase heard most around my home is, "Be careful! We like the teeth that are left!"
That's right. While I have all of my teeth, my four year old does not. Her name is Grace, but we jinxed ourselves when we named her that!! When she was 2 she walked into a door and knocked 1 front tooth back up into her gums and that killed her other front tooth. When she was 3 it abscessed and we had to remove them both. She has not gotten any more graceful in the last 2 years and we just feel we need to remind her to be careful. ALOT!
3. My idea of a "Spa Pedicure" is when I stick my feet in the tub while my kids are taking a bath (a real one!)
Again...I can't really justify this one, but Mommies, if you haven't tried it, you should! Give the kiddos some soap and let them wash your feet. You might not feel as relaxed, but it still feels good on your feet and you don't have to tip!!
2. I have used my PaPa's buck knife to prepare dinner. (pronounced PawPaw)
My brother in law and I were making sushi one night (we bought the fish, we didn't catch it...and sushi is NOT redneck at all) and the knife I was using wasn't working so we called my dad who was on his way to bring a sharp knife from my parents house. We were thinking about one of my mom's Chef's knives, he was thinking "sharp" knife. He brought us a sharp knife! He told us he didn't know if it was ever actually used on a deer, but just in case he "cleaned it REAL good." I couldn't help but think about the time I watched my PaPa shoot a deer from his bathroom window. I am pretty sure that knife had been used at some time for it's intended purpose. But it worked better than the actual "sushi" knife by brother in law was using.
1. My 2 year old has pointed to the t.v. and yelled "Mommy's Diet Coke! Mommy's Diet Coke!!" during a "beverage" commercial.
It happened the day after a crawfish boil. At one point during the boil my son saw me get a "beverage" out of the cooler that I immediately put in a koozie, but he had already seen it. In his sweet little voice he asked, "Mommy, what dat?" and my response was, "This is Mommy's Diet Coke. It is for Grown-ups." He ran off to play and that was that...until the next day when he saw Mommy's "Diet Coke" on a commercial during a sporting event! If it is any consolation, after his excitement of seeing Mommy's "Diet Coke" on t.v. he followed it up with, "Dat grown-up" in a very serious tone. I'll be honest, and this probably makes me a TOTAL redneck, but I was impressed that it was the exact brand. He matched it to something he had seen for seconds the days before, and it was a sporting event...that wasn't the first "Diet Coke" commercial that had come on the t.v.
I can't help but justify things a little further by thinking, at least we bathe in a pool and not a creek, and the dinner I was preparing wasn't really for a family meal because I don't feed my kids sushi and who doesn't like a foot rub whenever they can get it. I have convinced myself that it is not, in fact, redneck...it isn't even less than classy! It is just how it is. You can decide for yourself...and I know even the "classy" mommies that read this will be sticking their feet in the tub next time their kids take a bath!
I am the Sloppy (and kinda redneck and a little less than classy but really who are we kidding...normal) Mommy!