Saturday, July 21, 2012


Here I am!!  It has only been a week (as opposed to the year that it usually is!)  I am probably gonna keep this short (if I can) and just update on the modified processed/fast food thing I am doing around here.  I haven't gone completely unprocessed, although I hope that one day I do.  Still working on some pantry items and I can't help but buy a Diet Coke every once in a while.  I have had 3 in the last 11 days.  That is pretty good since I used to have at LEAST 1 a day.  I am also not really sure what I am going to do for my flavored coffee creamer.  It is FULL of crazy stuff I can't pronounce.  That is another thing that I don't put in my coffee every day, but it sure is good when I do!!  I will probably always use Stevia even though it is technically processed, but I figure one packet every few days is still better than white sugar.  My kids have surprised me a lot during these 11 days.  They have never been super picky eaters, but I have fed them some stuff that I am really surprised they like.  They have eaten up broccoli, celery, and grape tomatoes like champs.  I will admit, I have given them some ranch to dip it in sometimes, but mostly I have given them hummus and they eat it up! They are also fans of plain yogurt!  I put honey in it because really, plain yogurt is grody!! I know that honey has the same amount of nutrition (almost 0) and the same amount of calories as sugar, but I am going with the non-processed version of foods.  I have made food at home every day the last 11 days.  I just pulled easy and healthy meals off of food network.  My kids even liked the kitchen catch-a-tory (that is what my 6 year old called it)  My son loved the marshmallows in it (I tried to tell them they were mushrooms, but he still refers to them as marshmallows!!) It was chicken and vegetables. I wasn't surprised at the spaghetti type meals, but the fact that they liked the chicken and vegetables was a nice surprise.  It was the Ellie Krieger version in case you are wondering... I know this would be much more difficult if my kids were picky.  When I put it on their plates I fully expected to be making them a peanut butter and honey sandwich after they took a bite.  I did tell them before I even put it in front of them that they had to try it. At least 2 bites of chicken and 2 bites of vegetables.  They ate it all and my 6 year old asked for more. 

I really thought that my kiddos would protest the "natural" peanut butter, but my son still asks for spoonfuls of it as much as he asked for the kind with sugar or corn syrup.  The main thing that I am gonna have to figure out is what to do for dessert.  The plain yogurt with honey works at lunch time, but so far after dinner we have totally broken the non processed thing because they eat ice cream (I just eat one bite!).  White sugar versions of things are very easily accessible.  My thought process is if I avoid them as much as I can, I am going to avoid eating too many sweets. 

I am gonna go ahead and sign off now.  My house is a mess (but it pretty much always is) and I can't even walk through my laundry room right now.  I should probably try to get something accomplished today (although I think this was a pretty good accomplishment!)

Saturday, July 14, 2012


Seriously...why do I do this?  It has been almost a year (again) since my last post.  It doesn't feel like it has been that long, but everything seems to fly by now!  I don't really have any funny stories to tell right now, but I should REALLY be cleaning my house and that just doesn't sound fun (after all...I am the sloppy mommy!)  It is interesting how I have had a LOT of views since my last post almost a year ago.  I am going to pretend that it isn't a certain someone I know who gets bored at work and checks all of the webpages of all the people she knows (yes...I am talking to you! Have you been here 504 times?)  My kids are in here watching Monsters Inc.  I don't like to watch movies every day, but it is SO hot outside right now, and I can justify it because of our hour and a half long dance-off this afternoon.  If you think my six year old lets anyone sit out a song, you are wrong.  We did some fancy moves to "One Thing" (4 times...we almost have a complete routine to that one) and some lyrical ballet-ish stuff to the slower Taylor Swift stuff.  My son just kinda rolled around on the floor and screamed out the parts of any of the songs he knew!  It was funny how many of the songs he at least knew some part of. 

Right now at my house I am dog sitting.  I have my grandparents dog and my aunts dog.  It is interesting.  My kids are all very well potty trained, and if they have the urge to barf, they know to go to the toilet or the trash can.  If I could train the dogs, that would be fabulous.  We have had 3 mystery pukes, and 2 mystery poops since they have been here (this is just the second full day).  It makes me remember why I don't want any more dogs or children.  I am kinda done with the poop/puke stage.  My kids have also somewhat started giving me some privacy when I have to "use it".  Not so much with the dogs.  My own dog finds it necessary to follow me in and sit behind my feet and the other two just sit at the toilet door and watch while they are flapping their tails.  I would close the door, but the light is burned out in that little area so I have to keep the door to that part of the bathroom opened to the sink area.  The light is REALLY high and takes a special light bulb or it would be changed right now.  I put in a regular light bulb a few days ago and it burned out in a couple of switches.  (I just feel like I need to explain myself here!!) I made the mistake of asking them if they were enjoying the show and evidently one of them decided that was an invitation to jump in my lap.  It was supposed to be just a short trip to the potty, but nothing brings on peepee anxiety like an audience and lap visitor...

Anyway, I really don't have much to blog about today.  I was going to write about how I am trying really hard to stop eating processed food.  I am not so into it that I went in and threw away all the crap in my pantry, but I am going to try really hard not to buy it any more.  I am just on day 5 of my journey.  It hasn't been hard (except Diet Coke).  I have made really good food and it hasn't taken me more than 30 minutes (and usually less than that) to make meals.  It helps that now that my kids are bigger they can actually help in the kitchen and I don't feel like it is time away from them, and it also helps that I am off of work for the summer.  I feel like right now is the "Practice" time and when school starts I will have a lot of easy recipes on hand and the grocery list down a little better.  I will blog more about that journey as I get a little more into it.  Consider this the beginning post.  I will update as I go.  I think what made me really think about the crap we eat was when I took my kids in for their yearly check up.  The Doctor asked me if they ate fast food less than once a week or more than once a week.  I said they eat it ABOUT once a week.  I am not really sure how accurate that was.  We definitely make a trip to Chik-fil-a or Taco Bueno or another not so fast restaurant once a week, but we also eat a lot of store bought chicken nuggets and eat a lot of processed american cheese on our lunch meat sandwiches.  I just feel like we need to eat better in our sloppy household.  I vowed for 10 days without eating out and as we finish up the junk food in our house I am replacing it with healthier versions of the same thing.  I am sure our groceries are going to cost more (which really stinks) but in the end it will cost less since we won't eat out as much.  My husband first thought when I told him that I wanted to do this that I wanted to go vegetarian or do some big diet program.  I don't intend to "diet" at all.  I am going to pay attention to my portion sizes, but his skinny self can eat as much as he wants.  I just want to eat REAL food.  Not processed food that has a lot of crap added.  We will see how it goes.  The crap is SO easily accessible, but even in the last 5 days I have discovered that healthy stuff is not really inaccessible.  It just takes a tiny bit more effort.  I think the long run benefits will far outweigh the effort.  We will see (hopefully before next July, but given my blog history I really don't know if you can count on that!!)  The Byrd's may never be any less sloppy, but we are going to work really hard to be a lot healthier! 

My goal is to make another post by next Saturday (July 21, 2012...that is 2012)

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Adventures in Potty Training

Okay. Here are the fun things that have been going on since starting this whole fun potty training business. I chose to use the actual "anatomical" term which I don't regret, but I was not truly aware of how the love for that certain body part starts SO early, and then never really goes away. At home he will be playing and just randomly inform me of all the people he knows who have a [anatomical word that I am not going to put to hopefully keep some crazy people out] and he tells me that he has one too because he's a boy and all boys have one.

It is great fun to be in a restaurant with a three year old (who does not really grasp the whole "whisper" or "keep your voice down" concept) when he starts pointing to random people and asking you, "Does he have a [insert anatomical word here]?" The answer that I always give is, "Is he a boy? (then depending on the answer) Then yes, he does. But remember, we don't talk about it unless we are in the bathroom." That last comment has yet to work. Then on the way to visit the potty, he likes to give me the play by play of what is going to happen when we get in there. "I am gonna go in the potty, I am going to put up the seat. I am going to pull down my pants. I am gonna teetee in the potty. I am gonna shake it off because boys don't wipe their tooshy. Girls wipe there tooshy, but boys don't. They just shake, shake, shake it off. I am gonna flush it. Mommy, does the potty go vroom vroom? If it doesn't, I will say vroom vroom when I flush it." (The vroom vroom is from the little CARS potty that has at home.) On the way back from the potty, he likes to give the details. He likes to talk about the color of it, and whether or not it made bubbles and then he names off everyone he knows and asks me if theirs is "lellow" too. I am sure all of the restaurant patrons LOVE to hear potty talk while they are eating!

I am not even going to start on the crazy places that have been peed on in the bathroom since this whole thing started. I have found puddles around the toilet that I truly cannot figure out how he managed to get it there. It almost seems like he is doing acrobatics. And then the overcompensation for the previously missed target. So he missed a little to the left, and when trying to correct it, he pees to the right, front, and the wall behind the target. I never realized how hard it was to clean the wall behind to toilet.

This is getting kinda long and I am not sure how entertaining it is for the two of you reading (thanks Mama and Daddy!!) so I will wrap it up with my favorite potty story. My son did pretty well with number 1, but he was very nervous about number 2 and he has really just recently mastered that. We were swimming at a friends lake house and he tells me he needs to go poopoo so we get out of the lake, dry off, trek up to the house and sit on the potty FOREVER and finally he says, "Mommy, the poopoo is not coming out." So we start making our way back down to the lake and Blake starts making a weird growly snoring sound while we are walking. I asked him what he was doing and he told me, "That isn't me, Mommy. That is my poopoo. It is sleeping. That is why it wouldn't come out."

These are just a couple of the many adventures in potty training that we have had this summer! My husband and I have gotten into some bad habits because of it. For some reason we now announce when we have to go. That wouldn't be so terribly horrible except that the other just habitually asks "poopoo or tee tee"? We don't really answer...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Redneck, less than classy, or normal?

I have become aware, recently that there are some things we do or say in my house that might come across as slightly less than civilized if it were someone on the outside hearing or seeing it without knowing the whole story. Aside from my daily summer uniform of t-shirts and flip-flops and the 2-4 inches of black roots growing from my "blonde" hair, I do have all of my teeth, and I always take my children to Wal-Mart fully clothed (including shoes).

Here are the top 5 reasons that I could possibly on some occasions be redneck...or maybe just less than classy...or maybe just normal! If you just read the top five without the explanations you might think redneck, and depending on how "classy" you consider yourself I might be "less than" and if you are being completely honest with yourself you will see that I am normal!

5. My children have skinnydipped in my sisters swimming pool in lieu of taking a bath.

There is not a whole lot I can do to justify this one. If we aren't going anywhere important the next day, a pool is WAY more fun than a bathtub. I figure they swam all the stinky off.

4. The phrase heard most around my home is, "Be careful! We like the teeth that are left!"

That's right. While I have all of my teeth, my four year old does not. Her name is Grace, but we jinxed ourselves when we named her that!! When she was 2 she walked into a door and knocked 1 front tooth back up into her gums and that killed her other front tooth. When she was 3 it abscessed and we had to remove them both. She has not gotten any more graceful in the last 2 years and we just feel we need to remind her to be careful. ALOT!

3. My idea of a "Spa Pedicure" is when I stick my feet in the tub while my kids are taking a bath (a real one!)

Again...I can't really justify this one, but Mommies, if you haven't tried it, you should! Give the kiddos some soap and let them wash your feet. You might not feel as relaxed, but it still feels good on your feet and you don't have to tip!!

2. I have used my PaPa's buck knife to prepare dinner. (pronounced PawPaw)

My brother in law and I were making sushi one night (we bought the fish, we didn't catch it...and sushi is NOT redneck at all) and the knife I was using wasn't working so we called my dad who was on his way to bring a sharp knife from my parents house. We were thinking about one of my mom's Chef's knives, he was thinking "sharp" knife. He brought us a sharp knife! He told us he didn't know if it was ever actually used on a deer, but just in case he "cleaned it REAL good." I couldn't help but think about the time I watched my PaPa shoot a deer from his bathroom window. I am pretty sure that knife had been used at some time for it's intended purpose. But it worked better than the actual "sushi" knife by brother in law was using.

1. My 2 year old has pointed to the t.v. and yelled "Mommy's Diet Coke! Mommy's Diet Coke!!" during a "beverage" commercial.

It happened the day after a crawfish boil. At one point during the boil my son saw me get a "beverage" out of the cooler that I immediately put in a koozie, but he had already seen it. In his sweet little voice he asked, "Mommy, what dat?" and my response was, "This is Mommy's Diet Coke. It is for Grown-ups." He ran off to play and that was that...until the next day when he saw Mommy's "Diet Coke" on a commercial during a sporting event! If it is any consolation, after his excitement of seeing Mommy's "Diet Coke" on t.v. he followed it up with, "Dat grown-up" in a very serious tone. I'll be honest, and this probably makes me a TOTAL redneck, but I was impressed that it was the exact brand. He matched it to something he had seen for seconds the days before, and it was a sporting event...that wasn't the first "Diet Coke" commercial that had come on the t.v.

I can't help but justify things a little further by thinking, at least we bathe in a pool and not a creek, and the dinner I was preparing wasn't really for a family meal because I don't feed my kids sushi and who doesn't like a foot rub whenever they can get it. I have convinced myself that it is not, in fact, isn't even less than classy! It is just how it is. You can decide for yourself...and I know even the "classy" mommies that read this will be sticking their feet in the tub next time their kids take a bath!

I am the Sloppy (and kinda redneck and a little less than classy but really who are we kidding...normal) Mommy!

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Does any mommy really know what that means? My oldest turns 4 tomorrow, so I can say with certainty that I have not had a moment of it since the day she was born. I am not complaining, although it would be nice to either go to the bathroom or take a shower ON MY OWN, or get to do those things with the door closed and not have 4 hands banging on the door the whole time. I am momentarily in here on the computer all by myself, but that is only because my husband has food and food trumps mommy...usually. Shortly before my daughter was born we had our bathroom shower re-tiled. It was so pretty that we decided to enclose it with a clear glass shower door. If I had only known... As it is, if I start making that journey to the back of the house my oldest has to ask me if I am going potty and my youngest has to run behind me yelling, "tee-tee, tee-tee, tee-tee." Then I am joined with an audience that usually likes to prepare themselves and bring their own toys. I think there was a time when I could shower or take a bath and take as long as I wanted. I vaguely remember those days...! Oh is a small price to pay.

I will discuss MODESTY in another blog...that is another thing I have done without for the last four years!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

What goes in...

When I am nowhere near the computer (or when it is 1:00 in the morning), I can think of 452 things that I want to write about in my blog. When I have a second to do it, I can't think of anything. I must say, I was recently inspired by a couple of my friends posts on their Facebook pages. One was wishing she had chosen a more creative job (like Kindergarten teacher), and the other one was my sister's post informing everyone that she had been up all night with my niece who was throwing up. My response to my first friends post was to tell her about a day that I lovingly refer to as "Barf-a-palooza". On that day I had 4 kids in my class throw up in my room. I told her she might want to choose something less messy than Kindergarten. I LOVE my job and I LOVE my students, but I will be honest, what comes out of their mouths, does not gross me out nearly as much as some of the things I have seen them put IN their mouths. Here are a few examples (I know you are biting your nails with anticipation!):

I watched a kid sitting on the floor after coming out of the bathroom, lean over and lick the floor. The tile floor. RIGHT BY THE BATHROOMS!

I have to explain to at least one student every day why we shouldn't chew on our shoelaces (and let me tell you, if you have ever had to tie a little boys WET shoelaces after he has come out of the BATHROOM you would understand my feelings about being grossed out LESS by barf!)

A big productive sneeze is often seen as an extra snack time for a kindergartner. "SUZY* GET A TISSUE...WE DON'T LICK OUR HANDS."

And then there are ALWAYS the booger eaters. I keep tissues in 42 places around my room, but they don't need 'em!

Their hands are ALWAYS in their mouths, and I have seen where they sometimes put their hands. Some kids hands never leave those places...

I wish I could say that I was immune to some of these things at home, but I was very excited when my little boy (21 months) finally BLEW his nose into a tissue.** Before he would blow through his mouth while we wiped the boogies off. I got all of the snoodles off and he reached for the tissue. I thought he was going to use it to try to wipe his nose himself, but no...he put it in his mouth. Thats my boy!

Little kids are kinda gross, but they are TOTALLY worth it!! As long as you can get those habits broken while they are little! So this is my blog for today. Boogers and barf. My life really is super exciting (while sometimes gross!) and I am fabulously blessed...boogers and all!!

Have a blessed day, and as I told you before (and as you read in my blog)

I am the Sloppy Mommy!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent
** Yes, that excited me. It doesn't take much! I also must point out that my first "blog brag" was about my son blowing his nose! Take that, all you other proud mommies!!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Okie dokie, I am going to try out this blogging thing while the kids are being entertained by Mickey Mouse. The first post should probably be to explain my title. I am probably not the SLOPPIEST mommy ever, but when you compare me to my sister (and my mom!) I would definitely take the title! We bathe and wear clean clothes, but if you ever just dropped by my house it would be a little embarrassing. Here are some of the things that make me a sloppy mommy:

The laundry is NEVER done...I know, I know, unless you do the washing completely naked, your laundry would never be done, but that is not what I mean. If it is not worn on the outside of the body, I am NOT gonna waste my time folding it. For some reason my husband still asks me where he can find some clean underwear. The answer is always, "in the laundry basket"! Our clean laundry basket is technically for dirty laundry, but the little ones cannot hold all the underwear, undershirts, socks and occasionally towels and wash cloths.

I don't iron. If it has to be ironed, I am not gonna wear it...unless my husband irons it for me (thank you Kenneth!!)

My car could be mistaken for a recycling center or landfill. On most days it is littered with papers, sippy cups, shoes, and socks. We never travel more than a couple of miles in my car, but evidently that is too long to keep our shoes and socks on.

My garage is filled with the crap I have most recently cleaned out of my car!

Toys. Really. I don't think I need to explain this!

My daughter likes to change her clothes (in the middle of the living room) or drag out all of her dress up clothes at least 10 times a day.

My son likes to collect shoes from all over the house and bring them to us. Usually in the living room.

My kitchen is usually destroyed, and I really don't cook all that much, so I am not even sure how that happens!!

When the kids go to bed I try to do something for myself like watch t.v. (something besides Mickey Mouse), read a book, go to the gym...

Most of these are things that you would typically find in a house with small children, I just think they are probably worse at my house than most!

Mickey Mouse ended so right now as I type, I have a little boy on my right leg and a little girl on my left. That makes for some very interesting typing, but it is a good reminder about priorities. The laundry can wait, the kitchen can wait, the car can continue to resemble a landfill...I have all I could ever ask for sitting with me right now!

I have all I could ever want in my whole life and I will proudly claim and keep my title!!

I am The Sloppy Mommy!!